The "L" word

U should never say u love some1 unless u really truly mean it!!

The names in this story r based on real life ppl, these names r made up and have no connection 2 any1 here

-"i love u so much." Words uttered by any1 at anytime, mostly online. When ur young and u find some1 u like it automatically makes u say "i love u." Those words r suppose 2 mean alot and is never meant 2 b said unless they r true. I was in love a few times and some of them meant the world 2 me. My first love was Max. I was 13 when i met him,online. He was my whole world. We fought, got back together and everything u can think of. We were probably together 4 almost 2 full years. We lost contact the second yr. It hurt me so much, he knew my number but he never called me. I got a new computer when i was 17 and i started on my path 2 find the love of my life. Now some ppl might think "wow ur young u should b exploring life and blah blah blah" but i was always ready 4 love and marriage and all that, im the homebody type. I met pleanty of guys, tons of them "not really" lol but u get the idea. I met alot of guys and when i thought i found the guy and started 2 really like him, something happened and it was over. I met this guy back in April. His name is Brian(not real name). He was my friend bcuz he felt we were to far away 2 b together. About a month or so later i sorta lead him into something lol i guess not a real relationship but it was close. I fell in love wit him and i was happy wit him. Idk y i loved him more then any other guy i met but i did. There was just something about him that drew me in. Idk if it was his personality or something but i loved him so much and 2 this day i still love him more then ever. The only reason, i think he "left" me was bcuz i was a distraction 4 him and maybe bothersome. I never wanted 2 cause him any stress or anything. He hurt me(emotionally) a few times but i still loved him. He has this special something that makes me want 2 hold on and love him 4ever. I found myself looking 4 other guys but in some way comparing them 2 him and trying 2 find him in each 1 of them some way. There is only 1 "Brian" and i love him and want him and just wish he would give me that chance 2 show him someway 2 prove 2 him that he's my whole life and i'd wait 4 him if only he asked.........