So I guess from now on I'm just going to write when the moment is needed. At this moment I need it. I got into another argument with my mom. All I said was mom I'm hungry, I want to cook dinner but I don't have the motivation to cook in a really dirty kitchen. Her response was "why not clean it? You don't do anything else, you don't clean anything, all you want to do is cook." Now some of you are probably wondering what's the problem with that but for those of you who know me and my family then you I've done all that my whole life. I cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids even dropped out of school because I couldn't handle both. But don't say that to my mom because she has selective memory. She says I cooked a little, hardly helped with the kids and never cleaned. Nobody in this house want's to do anything. All I want is a little help with something that's benefiting all of them.
Up until I was sixteen I did nothing but whatever she wanted. After that I started telling her no. She hates not having her way. She says I'm being disrespectful but I call it speaking my mind, speaking up for myself. I love my mom but I hate the way I feel when I think about her. I hate the way she makes me feel; like I'm just a pawn in her little game. Like I'm only here to take care of her and her kids and not say anything or put up a resistance. I bet if I never said anything for myself, ever asked for anything and just gave her all my money whenever I get it, she would love me more then anyone. Is it worth it? I don't think so! I love myself to much to be her bitch. I love my husband to much to see him look at me with pity. My mother does nothing in this house. She doesn't cook ( hasn't in the past 3 years;even then only occasionally), clean, watch the kids or ever babysit for my sister (unless it's convenient for her.) But I'm SUPOSED to because I'm the sister, I'm the aunt and it's my job. Forget that!
Thank you for this. I needed to vent and clear my mind. More on the previous story later.
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