So first I would like to apologize to those who do read my blog. I know to be a blogger means to post more often and sadly I have lacked badly in that department. Well I would like to take some time to catch you up on me! Let's start with the downers: My mom is still so heartless toward me. Now for those of you who have read my past posts then you know a bit of how my mom is. In these past two years I have felt like killing myself so many times. Sometimes I even feel like, and its very sad to say, trading places with those kids who's parents kill them. Sometimes I wish I was dead rather then living with a mom who says she doesn't hate you but her actions say a whole different story. When I tell people how my life is, they think I'm over exaggerating but then when they come see it for their selves, they really get it. We hardly have people in our lives because of the way my family is. It's sad truly but for those who know my family then you know exactly where I'm coming from.
Alright I'm sorry for that morbid moment but I had to get it out. I wont go into any details about that problem, at least not right now. Now for the good news: I'M MARRIED!!! Yes to the man that knocked me up two years ago. Christopher Bynes is the love of my life. I haven't been able to get pregnant again since that first time but it's ok. I do have a new nephew although he is 8 months old now lol. Yes there were times I felt really jealous of my sister because she has the beautiful baby that I have wanted for so long. Sometimes I'm also jealous of the relationship she has with my mother. They have their moments of course but my mom always chooses Shyanna over me. Anyways......I'll be starting my 5th semester next week. I'll be graduating next year!! I'm so happy that I have a wonderful husband who truly loves me and things that will keep me busy like classes and my work-study. I work for Jumpstart. It's a really good program and I get to work with kids who are so smart and fun to be around. I also will be interning at a daycare for my internship class so yay I get to work with babies.
All in all I'm doing okay. I'm on meds because of the issues with my family, I'm not living with my husband at the moment ( I'll give you the details in the next post!!) and it sucks that everyone around me is having babies and getting pregnant and I'm still trying. Its hurts but its not a very bad hurt. I want my baby to be born away from my ignorant family. I do not want my child knowing how horrible these people are. I even hate that my nephew has to be apart of it. I'll try to post more often people. But if I don't post soon, please just hit me up and ask me what's going on!! Thanks!
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