WOOOOW!!!

So much has happened since my last post. Well my true love came here, Feb 14 2009. He came here from kansas and move into my place wit my fam cuz he didnt have anywhere else 2 go. We had fun and not so much fun times. We argued alot but i don't think i could have imagined life witout him. Then Dec 14 2009, he came 2 me saying he needed 2 leave and we had 2 break up. It was soo many reasons y he wanted 2 leave. We got back 2gether tho just b4 christmas cuz we love each other sooo much. I was trying 2 convince him 2 stay but no matter wat i did or said he said no. The in April of this yr he gave me a maybe and i was beyond happy. (Now i know ur prob like "Damn wat a loser, she sounds so desprete.") but i wasn't desprete i just wanted my first love, the love of my life, to stay in boston and be wit me. Well no matter wat he still left. At first he wanted 2 just have a long distance relationship and i was like "Hell no!! if u can't stay then 4get it." It's been a little over a month now since he left and i c how much i really miss him and how much i love and need him in my life. I try telling him this and at first he was all like "No u was right, i shouldn't ask u 2 stay wit me when we're miles from each other." Maybe he just wants 2 b single again but that would b weird cuz according 2 his blog and wat he told me b4, he loves me and wants a life wit me and doesnt want 2 b single. All i can say now is im waiting 4 his lastest answer 2 my lastest questions and if he wants this 2 work then wonderful if not then ok i'll move on and start a new life.

My adopted Virtual Baby :) 2

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My adopted Virtual Baby :)

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Wat a girl wants

I always realized that wat i want most outta life is love and happiness. I've always been told that im living in a fantasy world but i mean wanting love and happiness isnt so difficult 2 get is it? My best friend and I share the same wantings out of life. To b told promises even if its a lie. To share everything wit the 1 person i love the most. To have everything i've ever wanted out of life. Sometimes its hard 2 find that complete happiness and sometimes when u think u've found it, it may not actually b there........

FINALLY!!!!!!

I got my wish finally! i have the love of my life now. He of course was just pushing me away 4 various reasons but knowing he loved me and really couldnt stay away. I love him so much and even tho he hurt me b4 i love him enough 2 give him 1 LAST CHANCE. If he screws it up this time i'll never go back. He told me he loves me :) that made me so happy that i cried i waited so long 2 hear him say that. I hope everything works out wit us bcuz i dont ever wanna b witout my darling love. And im no longer confused!!

Make believe..and maybe it'll come true

I always thought that if i pretend and dream and think about something, it would most likely come true. I thought that at least 1 dream would come true but eh who cares anymore cuz i dont. y care about something when it doesnt even matter at all?. Letter 2 u was suppose 2 b my push, my hope, my happiness. Its not and im ok wit that. I wanna say sry 2 the person who "Letter 2 u" was meant for. I understand and get that nothing can happen and nothing ever will and im sry for everything that i put u through. Being friends may be difficult cuz i feel like now u want 2 control my life, u dont want me but u dont want me 2 b wit any1 else or want me 2 b happy. Im not gonna let that happen. We r friends thats it nothing more or less. Anyways for whoever reads my blogs im sry about the confusion im just as confused as u.

So thats how it starts...

so i experienced something but omg it wasn't the whole thing but it was close. It hurt so much but i find myself wanting 2 finish it all. I'm so weird lol i dont but i do. it hurts like HELL!! but i feel like i need a little bit more omg omg im crazy........